I fear something much worse than death...Group blog thursday

Todays group blog topic over at Steph in the City is about a scary scary word, FEAR! She asks the question, with all these things around for Halloween to be scared of, what do you really fear? This is a great question and a little complicated for me, mostly cause I don't like to admit I fear anything! or if I do, I like to think that I would challenge the fear and do the thing I feared instead of running away from it. I don't fear work or people or presentations or being lost in the wilderness...But one thing scares me enough to run away -

SPIDERS!! I don't like them, I run away from them and call Martin over to "kill them" (I say anyways) and he picks them up in a cup and puts them outside, he's such a nice soul:) During yoga school I learned about ahimsa, which mean nonviolence. The teachers asked us to instead of killing bugs and little things smaller than us, to let them outside. So I started doing that, I really did! I'd put a cup over them, wait a few minutes until I could stir up some more courage, and then I'd take the cup and throw it outside. After school, I did it for a little while and then, things changed after going to the lakehouse one day. We were driving in the car and a huge daddy long leg with a red head started crawling up my pant leg!!! I freaked out, Martin had to pull the car over and I jumped out. It disappeared, or so I thought. I got back in the car, we started driving, it had to be out of the car with all my jumping around and waving my arms like a maniac. With my heart racing and trying to calm my breathing, out of the corner of my eye I see it again! Its crawling up my freaking leg!! I scream "Are you kidding me!!!!???" and starting swinging and jumping around. Martin pulls the car over, from my swinging mr. spider some how jumped onto the door, or I swished it onto it. I get out of the car, and I literally cannot bring myself to wiping it off. I have a piece of paper in my hand, and even with the length of an 8x11, I just cannot do it. I'm paralyzed. This is not genetic, once there was a spider egg on my window of my car, my mom laughed and took her fingers and wiped it off...with her fingers!!! I don't know where this crazy irrational fear comes from, but I know its definetly there!! So Martin puts the car in park on the side of a hill we're driving on and comes over and wipes it off. We get back into the car and I'm still paralyzed with fear, I'm just sitting in my seat with my knees to my chest, looking forward trying to meditate on the road, whining in spurts. This is what I most fear...yup, just little itty bitty spiders and they scare the crap out of me.

What do you fear? Go check out Steph's group blog Thursday!