Monday, September 28, 2009

Rights of Passage - Leaving a childhood home

I hope you had a great weekend! I have an interesting topic today. So I recently found out that my dad is dating someone who he is thinking about having come and live with the house my siblings and I grew up in. We've had a stepmother before, and step brothers and they've since moved on. His girlfriend is his age, which is great, and has been divorced twice, like him which is great. She has four kids, 2 my age, and 2 girl teenagers. The 2 my age have moved out and live on their own. The other 2 girls, would move into our house, well the one I grew up in. My sister let me know what was happening and we had a minifreakout on the phone until we thought it over and realized that we both do want him to be happy. We want him to not be lonely and to have someone in his life. I'm moved out and married and so is my sister. My brother lives in the basement in the house. Its a very difficult situation for me I guess because I've always thought of our childhood house as my home away from home, where I keep all my extra stuff, where I still have a bedroom just the way I had when I was a teenager growing up, where things never change, where I can still find my old highschool journal hidden under the bed, and with this move things will be just so different. The two girls will be taking me and my sisters old room, so where does that leave us? We will have to get all of our furniture and things we've left there out and either put somewhere else or thrown away. The more I think about it, the more I realize that it would be good because all of the old dusty boxes will have to be dealt with but it just seems to sad. And its not, maybe its like they say in the movie "Garden State" where its like some sort of right of passage where you leave home in order to make a new home. I guess I have to be thankful and grateful for the times of going to visit my childhood home, where my parents engraved our names in the sidewalk outside, where I could feel like a kid again. What do you think? Is it a right of passage to leave your childhood home? Is it better to allow your children to stay home as long as they need so they can feel like a kid again whenever they want or does that actual hinder them from going through the right of passage? What would you do with your kids when they are 18? Should they leave early or delay officially moving out?


  1. I feel for you. Having your parents dating is difficult no matter what your age. I'm glad you have your sister to lean on.

  2. thanks Debbie! Its an interesting idea to think of - whether is right to let your kids move out early or delay that...I still don't know what I'd do if we have them!

  3. I think it is bitter sweet. You want your Dad to be happy, yet that was your room where you spent a large portion of your life. You have to also think how it might be uncomfortable for the two girls moving in. I'm sure they don't want to invade your space as much as you want them to. You and your sister and the 2 girls should go have lunch. It might make the process easier on everyone.

  4. My parents are still married but they sold my childhood home and moved to another state when I was in my 20's.

    I thought I was fine. Really I should have been. I was married and had a baby of my own. But it is a strange feeling when you no longer have "your home" to go back to. I had dreams about that house for several years after the move. Sometimes I still wonder what it looks like now.

  5. Lisa that is a fantastic idea!! I never thought of that:) And you're right the girls are probably feeling alittle weird about it too..who knows maybe we'll be friends or something:)

    Thanks for your truthful comment kyslp. Thats exactly the way I'm feeling and you said it perfectly, when you no longer have "your home" to go back to. And even though I have my home and a family, its scary to let go! Thats interesting that you had dreams about your old childhood home, have you ever went back to visit it? just to like a drive by?

  6. Popped in from SITS to say hi!

    My parents still live in my childhood home, and it's strange to see my mother's office in my old room with some of my old toys still around...but I'm married now, so I suppose you can't let things stay the same...


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