Babies and Careers and Women

I was debating whether to write this...as it can kind of be well, alittle controversial. I love my mom and my grandmothers. They are wonderful dear people in my life. They had babies young. They always reminded me to get my education and my career before settling down, getting married and having kids. I always wanted to learn from my mom and my grandmom and do things the "right way", whatever that was. I went to college, (by a thread), got a job, tried grad school, left and am now in grad school part time. My sister is the same, she got a Ba, got a BFA, and is now going for her masters in Teaching. I'm married and she's getting married. Friends of mine are in the same boat, went to school, just got married and thinking about having children. But theres a worry, time and money. One more worry than what these women in my life had. Alot of women today have gotten their education, careers and are married/getting married and want to have children, but do not want to give up their jobs that they've worked so hard for.

My female elders have always drilled career and education first, then settle down. Its as if, my grandmoms and the other women in my life were some how given the raw end of the deal because they settled down early and didn't have their education and careers first. Even after having their babies and being married, when they did enter the workforce, unless their family had money saved for them for school, they rarely got to go back to school and so entered a job, maybe not a career, but a job nonetheless. I'm finding myself, and talking to lots of my friends about this as well, almost 30 and with a job (which I am very thankful for) and an education (which I am also very thankful for), and married (again which I am also extremely grateful for)...but without the other that these women have had, the big B... Baby. And, to be honest, I’m starting to want one. I’m starting to talk with friends and instead of going straight to clothes or travel trips, we’re going to baby talk. I wonder if having a baby is conducive to a lifestyle of a "career woman". I mean, I have a career, I work, I guess you could call me a career woman. Many women in my situation are in careers that they've worked very hard for, and that they've invested in (education wise). Thats all well and good to be proud of, but it seems, the older I get, the more seniority at work comes, the more I feel "set in my ways" and the more having a baby gets farther and farther away...and the funny thing is, it seems directly opposite on the spectrum of career safety and financial security. The more financial security and career safety, the more the picture of having babies, leaving work and raising them fades off into the distance. Have women been given the raw end of the deal...again?? Friends of mine who are also in this situation are getting married and buying houses and working, and complain about not having enough time with their husbands...that their idea of being married isn't the same as what they thought it would be, mostly because of the time issue. The women who reminded and reminded me to get my education and career, are the same women who stayed at home with their kids, maybe went to work at a parttime or fulltime job after their kids had grown, but had kids and took care of their home and everyone in it, and had the time to cook nice meals at home, but again, thought they got the raw end of the deal because they missed out on an education that would lead to a career, and a career. Don't get me wrong, I cook at home, but its mostly me getting in from work and then going to the kitchen to cook. I sit down and relax finally when we eat together. How would that be if I had a baby? See the baby in the morning, and then at 7 o'clock at night.  I feel like that would be really hard, emotionally and physically. And many women need to work to pay off the student loans that have mounted from working for the education and career. I remember something different when I was little. I remember my mom smiling with an apron, telling us slowly and sweetly how to make homemade sauce and how to spread it over homemade pizza doe. It makes me wonder, have women been given the raw end of the deal...again? What do you think?

-Nikki