I've been talking to a friend or so of mine who has recently married within the past year, and while she and I were just venting over some frustrations, I thought to myself about marriage and how/if that changes a relationship. I thought about when Martin and I were first married and if in the first year I had frustrations that have now sort of waned, and if they were just frustrations of my own, between my fantasy of what I had thought marriage was, like from when I was younger etc, and what it actually was at the present moment being married. As a younger person, (like my cousin who is upsessed with princesses), I started to develop this picture of what I thought marriage would be like, and it turned into this sort of Cindarella fantasy land (very far away from the divorced marriage from my parents I had grown up with), where things would be perfect after I got married. It became like this curtain, and after I got married I would pass the curtain and life would make sense and everything would fall into place. Well, thats happened in the way that finding my soulmate and partner for life now makes sense and fell into place, but everything else, not exactly. There are still money worries and issues, theres still work to go to, theres still working on being/staying healthy, there is still school to go to, there are still family obligations, there is still family planning and while its comforting and wonderful to be able to now live these things together, they still at times become frustrations. Some of my friends going through first year marriages are working on things like buying a house with not enough monies, wanting to go on vacations but can't because of work or monies, family planning, frustrations with money (money seems to be a big part of issues) and all the other things I've listed above. I'm guessing the frustrations are coming from this place during wedding time, when everything is bright and beautiful and exciting and the worries fade away, and the idea of Cindarella dancing the night away in a white dress is actually going to happen. Do you remember going through any of these frustrations your first year of marriage?
The more I think about it, the more a wedding seems to be this great big white beautiful horse that whisks you away into the sunset and what we are left with is our forever priceless love for eachother, a 20,000 wedding bill, laundry and dirty dishes. While I would never change that, I wonder sometimes, if girls weren't fed all this fairytale Cindarella/princess stories, would we have more of a realistic idea of marriage and be able to forego these first year frustrations? What do you think?