tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134284938028045226.post1745469874570138060..comments2023-10-23T06:50:22.958-07:00Comments on Simple Frugalista at The Real Life Travels: Babies and Careers and WomenNicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214792179573054167noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134284938028045226.post-3555816368110108612010-04-02T06:53:49.027-07:002010-04-02T06:53:49.027-07:00wow thanks for all of your feedback ladies!!! it i...wow thanks for all of your feedback ladies!!! it is so nice to talk to other women about this kind of stuff and to hear your povs. I know it is our decision but its nice to know that I'm not alone in all this questioning I'm doing. I don't know what is right, maybe like you have done mamachrista, I'll know what to do after that time comes.Nicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05214792179573054167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134284938028045226.post-41278727707840082802010-04-01T19:16:19.659-07:002010-04-01T19:16:19.659-07:00I never wanted to be a stay at home mom until I ha...I never wanted to be a stay at home mom until I had a baby. I KNEW I would want to work and have a career...then she came. The light of my life. My very reason for existence. I became SO depressed at work...finally, I had to quit my job. I'm a stay at home mom now but I'm still in school and I have so much student loans that I hate to see my education go to waste. I know that eventually I want to work again because I'm extremely passionate about what I'm going for (Teaching) but I also know that I'm not willing to work until my kids are in school. So, I'm slowing it down a bit. Playing it by ear. <br /><br />Not everyone feels this way though and there is NO shame in wanting to work full time as a mama.mamachristahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14185723877253399052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134284938028045226.post-23662621341259461222010-04-01T19:16:00.212-07:002010-04-01T19:16:00.212-07:00I agree that it comes down to each person and what...I agree that it comes down to each person and what they're willing to sacrifice. I guess it's a lie that you can have it all because eventually one thing will have precedence over the other. Right now I have every intention to continue working once I have kids because hey, my dreams and ambitions will still be there once I'm a mom and I want to feel like I'm providing for them and myself too. Maybe it's the idea of needing to rely on someone that I'm not yet comfortable with.<br /><br />But I have no idea if all this will change once that time comes. I just know/hope it doesn't come anytime soon because I'm definitely not ready for that commitment just yet!Dorkys Ramoshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00476207845094583525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134284938028045226.post-83060416780364630792010-04-01T17:03:55.364-07:002010-04-01T17:03:55.364-07:00This is truly an interesting post. Your questions ...This is truly an interesting post. Your questions are hard ones...and, I think, ones only each couple can answer for themselves. For us, it was important to have mommy at home for the formative years of our daughter's life. Loss of income and brain cells notwithstanding, I'm glad we made that choice. I have friends, however, who seem quite happy continuing with a career. In truth, the only complaint I've heard is from a woman my age whose mother's career was soooo consuming she barely spent time with her. She truly was raised by a nanny and missed out on bonding with mom... Sometimes I think the grass seems greener...the only difficulty, in truth, we're really experiencing as a result of our choice is comparative loss of income. So many two income households exist, prices of houses etc are responsive to this ability to pay, and I think alot of inflation has resulted...to the point that, for many, two incomes are absolutely needed.<br /><br />That said, good luck with the decision making process for you and your husband.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134284938028045226.post-30717293287254030822010-04-01T14:37:12.663-07:002010-04-01T14:37:12.663-07:00When I was younger, I was going to get a career an...When I was younger, I was going to get a career and rule the world. Seriously. That was my whole plan. I used to say "I'm never having kids!" but if I did, hubby would take care of them. Not me. Having children, is a very personal decision and not one to be taken lightly. Have women gotten the raw end of the deal? Perhaps. It's all how you look at it. Career women longs for a family but it is too late. SAHM wishes she could still be in her career. And for the same reason: To do something that has meaning. Mom's forget that they are doing something so very meaningful that goes way beyond the laundry. Career women forget that they too are doing something meaningful. It's not just about them. It's about women every where. Empowering us and reminding us that it really wasn't that long ago that our place in life was the home with our kids and nothing else. I am rambling here. Sorry. It really boils down to you, Nikki. What do you want?Louriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05477223472789865063noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134284938028045226.post-68890326759640006742010-04-01T13:57:39.250-07:002010-04-01T13:57:39.250-07:00This is such a difficult choice for many women. Th...This is such a difficult choice for many women. Though I tend to disagree with your earlier commenter that said motherhood is both " a blessing and a curse"- I kind of feel like if you think motherhood is part curse, you should probably avoid having kids. Maybe that road isn't for you. And to me that's what it comes down to- how much do you want it? If it's burning in your heart to have a baby, then making the sacrifies to do so may be hard, but you will ultimately get great satisfaction from making those choices. If it's burning in your heart to be the best in your career field- that also takes sacrifices...and one of those is going to be family time. And by the way that will be the case whether you have a baby or not. <br />So to me, I think women have to very carefully weigh their own desires. It's ok to listen to other women (elders as you say), but always keeping in mind that they come from their own circumstances and what might have suited them best, may be terrible for you. <br /><br />I agree with the poster above that said we can have everything, just not at the same time. I think that comes the closest to the truth. You can have what you want as a woman...but you do have to take the time to listen very carefully to your own feelings about the matter. And then you have to make tough decisions to put that plan into action.<br /><br />I believe that women did not get a rough deal. I think we got the kick ass end of the deal! We live in a time when society will support us being career women or stay at home moms, or a combination. Though I think doing a combination at the same time is pretty rough. Guys do not have that support for staying home with their babies, guys do not have the one of a kind experience of bonding with their baby while it grows in their bodies, guys don't ever get to be "mommy!"- so I think we as women pretty much lucked out!<br /><br />I say- find what you feel most passionate about- motherhood or career...and then pursue it with gusto. It's only my opinion- but I think trying to prioritize a career and baby equally is just asking for disappointment on both counts.~SHANNON~https://www.blogger.com/profile/10046163344553302080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134284938028045226.post-10791801548701623732010-04-01T13:28:05.990-07:002010-04-01T13:28:05.990-07:00Maybe the key here is that while we CAN have it al...Maybe the key here is that while we CAN have it all, we may need to realize that we might not be able to have it all at once! If babies and family are your desire and your ideal is to give that your full focus then some lean financial times and putting your career on hold might be the solution. I realize that is a HUGE sacrifice... but sacrifice and parenthood are synonymous. I know many men who would love to stay home with their children, but they've also gotten the "raw end of the deal."<br /><br />I watched my mom balance a career and a baby born in her 30's (me) and given the financial choice she probably would have chosen to not have it ALL. She would have loved to be a Stay at Home Mom, but she didn't have that choice and instead made the best of it.<br /><br />As a mom myself, I can honestly say that a child isn't a choice that is regretted, even if it is exhausting and taxing to be a working mother (which I've done) and your situation isn't ideal... it still works somehow!<br /><br />Good luck!Tina @ www.commoncentshome.blogspot.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17984081676735546307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134284938028045226.post-85924247578357220232010-04-01T12:16:49.093-07:002010-04-01T12:16:49.093-07:00Hi Nikki- As a 32 yr old, unmarried, career woman ...Hi Nikki- As a 32 yr old, unmarried, career woman (lawyer), I've thought a lot about the issue of work-life balance and the unique dilemmas that women face because of our physical ability to bear children. I've also thought at times that women got the raw end of the deal. But really, what our moms' generation fought for was the opportunity for us to choose what we wanted to do with our lives, not the opportunity for us to do everything with our lives. <br /><br />The ability to be a mother is a blessing and a curse. It forces us to make tough choices about where we want to expend our mental, emotional, and physical energy. But it's pretty awesome that we get that choice. And really, isn't that what life is all about? Discovering what your individual path to happiness is, and having the courage to follow that path, regardless of what society or anyone else tells you is right or wrong.<br /><br />I think if you're living in a way that makes you happy, and you set the tone and priorities for your life, your career and your family will adjust with you. <br /><br />Good luck!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06828446224692862333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3134284938028045226.post-22018699354059961012010-04-01T09:21:23.564-07:002010-04-01T09:21:23.564-07:00Growing up my mom that was a the top of her career...Growing up my mom that was a the top of her career and my father owned his own business. We had a nanny that we loved like a second mom. We did however have dinner every night as a family and always spent time together over the weekend and took several family vacations. <br /><br />Although, my sister was a nanny for a few different families and some of her kids didn't want to go back to the parents at the end of the day. <br /><br />I think it is all on how well you can balance work life and home life and the quality of the time you do spend with the kids. It can be done, but I am sure it takes work.Jamie Picklehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01617733908899422299noreply@blogger.com